Anyway, I feel lucky to have grown up in the mid-west with my parents at in their mid-point of life. I had a lot of opportunities to spend quality time with Dad, sailing on Willy Wispe, hanging out at the Detroit Boat Club, and traveling on vacations all around the country and world.

But, there was something special about cruising on the sailboat. I think it was because Dad was at such peace when he was on the water. I’ll never forget summers cruising in the Georgian Bay and North Channel in Canada, where we would go for days without seeing another boat, anchoring at uninhabited islands, and filling the water tanks right from the lake (you can’t do THAT in salt water!)

The longest time Dad and I spent together was taking the boat from Michigan to Maryland after he retired, a trip which took an entire summer between high school and college. It was such an amazing journey. From Dad, I learned the joy of timelessness, where each day blended into the next. It was an adventure- we never knew what to expect. I remember circling around a buoy in the fog in the Thousand Islands for an hour. We didn’t know exactly where we wanted to go because Dad refused to spend money on charts for a place we’d only be once in our life. So we used a Texaco ROAD map as our guide, which didn’t clue us in as to where the shoals were or the location of the next buoy. But sailing the Thousand Islands with a road map made the trip that much more fun.

A really important lesson I’ve learned from Dad is that you can keep growing and enjoying life. He LOVED his retirement. It was so smart for him, especially now as I look back, to retire in his fifties. He got more than 10 wonderful years with mom traveling to cool places, visiting family and friends, and hanging out in their new home in St. Michaels.

But then events surprised us all. The family script, as I remember it, was that mom was supposed to live into her 90s, and dad to die earlier. Historically, men in the Foster family were not long-lived. But mom died in 1991 at the age of 69, and I have always been thankful Dad didn’t wait to retire until he was 65.

Mom’s death was devastating to us all. But Dad KEPT his sense of adventure and desire to learn new things. He continued his travels and adventures THEY had once BOTH enjoyed. I was lucky to go to the Galapagos with him on his first big trip after Mom died. Dad’s nature was to remain receptive to what life had to offer. (pause)

And then, the best “tip” he got from his financial advisor, Judy Werbitt, was Diane Keane’s phone number. In Diane, dad found a fellow widower with a zest for life who wanted to share the adventure. I saw their relationship grow in love and admiration over the years, and I want to thank Diane for bringing so much happiness to my father the last years of his life. I saw him grow and change at an age when many people are bent on remaining the same.

THAT is one of the GREAT GIFTS he has given us…. The lesson that life is to be lived to its fullest. No matter what your age, growing older doesn’t mean you stop growing.

I’m the baby of the family, but even I am quickly approaching the mid point of my life, and my siblings, I hesitate to say, crossed that mark a little while ago. But if we have learned anything from Dad, it’s to enjoy life to the end.

DAD…. WENT…. QUICKLY, which in many ways, as hard as it is for us, was a blessing for him. I believe he’s now in a place that’s like sailing in the St. Lawrence on a foggy day. And if I know Dad, he’ll circle that buoy for a while, but it won’t be too long before he changes course and goes where the current takes him.

Good bye dad, I love you.

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But when I return to my little world
To make the preparations
I forget the reality of that intense love
When I acquiesced.
Eventually, I return to the sanctuary
Calculated to miss the promised time
Having forgotten about the ceremony
And the Beloved must start over again.

My preference is to arrange
A fling with the Divine
I have secretly married my little world,
Vainly believing I have foiled the Supreme
I arrange discreet encounters
When I have a moment to spare

I convince myself it’s not my fault
That our relationship is not fulfilling
Because the Beloved
Hasn’t succumbed to the dictates
Of my terms.

I have lost count of the promises I have made,
When in the midst of your embrace.
Yet, in a blink of an eye
I have already forgotten

I pray that some day I will realize
That the separation between
The Divine and my little world
Is merely my own illusion
And unbounded love and joy
Are mine for the taking
When I walk down that aisle
And say, “I do”.

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Throwing Rocks through windows
Using my own head to ring
Great bells

Pulling out my hair
Tearing off my clothes
Tying everything I own
To a stick
And setting it on
Fire

What else can Hafiz do tonight
To celebrate the madness
The joy

Of seeing God
Everywhere

– HAFIZ –

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It’s not just a contract

It is the result of my desire

to give you an unconditional love

For me this is a big step

To stop hedging my bets

Keeping my options open

Love is not something to do half-way

To contain

It is the ocean with boundless depths

It is reality

So let’s jump in together

Into it’s warm embrace

So sign on the dotted line

And we shall win and lose everything

together

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